You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, maybe even followed intuitive eating dieticians and counsellors online. You’ve done your best to give yourself permission around food…but somehow, you still feel stuck. You’re still thinking about food all the time. You still feel guilt after eating certain things. So you’re left wondering, “why isn’t this working for me?”
If that sounds familiar, I promise you you’re not failing at intuitive eating, you’re just in a very normal, messy middle stage of healing your relationship with food.
It’s Okay to Feel Discouraged
Many people come to intuitive eating after years, sometimes decades, of dieting, restriction, or trying to control their bodies. They’ve tried every method and finally hoped this would be the thing that set them free. So when old patterns or body shame start to creep back in, it’s understandable to feel frustrated, hopeless, or even betrayed by the process.
The truth is that intuitive eating isn’t a quick fix, so it’s not something you can master in a few weeks or even months. It’s a deep relearning about your body, your emotions, and your sense of safety around food.
All this relearning takes time, especially when diet culture has been whispering rules into your ear for years: “Don’t eat too much,” “be good,” “you should choose the healthy option.” Those messages don’t disappear overnight just because you’ve decided to stop dieting. Sometimes they keep running quietly in the background, influencing your choices even when you think you’ve moved on.
If you feel like intuitive eating “isn’t working,” it might simply mean your mind and body are still unlearning the old rules, and that’s okay.
Have You Really Let Go of Food Rules?
One of the most common reasons I see when clients feel stuck, is that some food rules are still hanging around, disguised as “healthy habits” or “good intentions.”
You might no longer be counting calories or following a strict plan, but you might still find thoughts like:
- “I shouldn’t eat after 8pm.”
- “I should only eat when I’m hungry.”
- “If I eat less sugar, I’ll feel better.”
- “I should crave vegetables by now.”
These “shoulds” are just food rules dressed up. They keep you from fully trusting your body because they replace curiosity with judgment.
Letting go of food rules doesn’t mean ignoring your body’s signals or eating chaotically, it means noticing where old diet beliefs still hold power. It means asking, “Whose voice is this?” every time you feel guilt or second-guess yourself around food.
It can help to notice patterns like:
- Feeling anxious if you eat something “unhealthy.”
- Praising yourself for “being good” when you eat lightly.
- Feeling disappointed or “out of control” after eating for comfort.
These are gentle clues that your relationship with food is still being shaped by external expectations rather than internal trust.
Have You Given Yourself Full Permission to Eat?
Most people begin intuitive eating by granting physical permission, which means allowing all foods back into their life. That’s an important start, but mental permission is the harder part.
Physical permission is saying, “I can eat this cookie.”
Mental permission is saying, “I can eat this cookie, and it doesn’t mean anything bad about me.”
You can technically eat anything, but if you’re still battling guilt, self-talk, or a sense of failure afterward, your mind hasn’t yet caught up with your body.
True permission means knowing, deep down, that food is just food. Some meals will be satisfying, others not so much. Some days you’ll crave vegetables, other days toast and butter. None of it defines your worth or willpower.
If you’re finding it hard to let go of guilt, try meeting it with curiosity rather than criticism. For example:
✨Instead of “Why did I eat that?” try “What did I need in that moment?”
✨Instead of “I should have stopped earlier,” try “Did I feel satisfied while eating?”
Each question brings you closer to compassion, which is the real foundation of intuitive eating, not the absence of rules, but the presence of kindness.
Intuitive Eating Isn’t Instant – It’s a Relearning Process
Healing your relationship with food can be like learning a new language after years of speaking another. Your old “diet brain” might still pop up and translate things through the lens of control and self-judgment, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, it just means your brain is practicing something new.
Many people expect intuitive eating to feel peaceful right away. But often, the early stages feel messy: increased cravings, confusion about hunger cues, or frustration with body image. These are not signs of failure, they’re signs that your body is reawakening its natural signals and adjusting after being silenced by years of rules.
Think of it this way: if you’d ignored your hunger for a decade, it makes sense that it takes time to rebuild trust with it. The same goes for fullness, satisfaction, and emotional eating. This process is not about perfection; it’s about patience.
Sometimes you might not hear your body clearly because emotions like fear, shame, grief etc, are speaking louder, and that’s where support can help.
What Support Can Look Like
If intuitive eating feels stuck, it might not be about food at all. Often, what blocks progress are deeper emotional layers, such as fear of weight gain, discomfort with body image, or anxiety about letting go of control.
Working with a therapist or dietitian trained in intuitive eating can offer a safe space to explore these layers. Therapy isn’t about fixing you; it’s about helping you understand what’s getting in the way of trust and compassion.
Support can also look like community, reading stories from others, joining a non-diet support group, or simply finding voices that remind you you’re not alone in this process. Healing from diet culture is tough work, and you deserve to be supported in it.
You’re Not Failing – You’re Unlearning
If you’ve found yourself thinking, “Maybe intuitive eating just isn’t for me,” please know: it’s not that you’re broken or incapable of trusting your body. There’s no quick fix for years of negative self-talk, control and restriction. This work asks you to undo years of conditioning, and that takes time, gentleness, and repetition.
You don’t need to “get it right.” You just need to stay curious, compassionate, and willing to keep noticing where diet culture still whispers in your ear.
Sometimes the moment you feel most lost is the moment just before things begin to get easier, soften and start to heal.
A Gentle Next Step
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Many people reach this point in their intuitive eating journey and simply need a bit of support untangling the guilt, fear, or hidden food rules that keep them stuck.
If you’d like a space to explore this more deeply and begin rebuilding trust, not just in food, but in yourself, then reach out and book in a free consultation call to find out how I can support you on your journey.