If you’ve ever felt like food is something you can’t control, you’re not alone. Many women describe food as a constant battle; one they feel they should be “strong enough” to win. Maybe you’ve blamed yourself for not having enough willpower or even wondered if you have a kind of food addiction.
Struggling with your relationship with food is not a personal failure, it’s not weakness and it’s not simply about self-control. Often, the reasons food feels overwhelming are deeply human responses to restriction, pressure, and the messages we receive every day about our bodies.
Why Food Feels So Hard to Control
Many women I work with describe feeling stuck in a cycle – restricting food, trying to be “good,” and then swinging into overeating, binge eating, or emotional eating when the rules become too much. It’s easy to see this as proof of your own weakness and lack of willpower.
But your body isn’t failing you when it does this, in fact, it’s responding exactly as it’s designed to. When we restrict or diet, our bodies interpret that as a threat, so they ramp up our hunger cues, food feels more urgent, and cravings become louder. This isn’t about willpower at all, it’s 100% biology.
I know this because I’ve lived it too. For years, I believed that if only I were smaller, I’d finally feel happier, more loved, more confident. I thought respect and acceptance depended on fitting into a certain size. Like many of my clients, I believed binge eating meant I was weak and lacking in willpower. What I wish I’d known then is that those struggles weren’t about being weak, they were a natural response to the deprivation and restriction I was putting my body through.
The Hidden Pressure of Diet Culture
Another reason food feels like a battle is the world we live in. From friends and family to magazines, TV shows, and social media, we are surrounded by diet talk and body shaming. We’re told that thinner is always better, that smaller bodies are more worthy, and that self-discipline around food is a moral virtue (you’re “so good” for turning down that piece of cake in the office.)
This constant messaging makes our relationship with food feel more difficult. It keeps us on edge, watching what we eat, comparing ourselves, and feeling like our bodies are never enough. It’s no wonder many women feel like they’re dealing with food addiction or lack of control. In reality, what they’re experiencing is the toll of living in a culture that ties our worth to appearance and encourages cycles of restriction.
Which is why I remind myself, my friends and my clients so often, you are not broken, the system is.
Why Willpower Isn’t the Answer
If you’ve spent years telling yourself to “try harder” around food, you’re not alone. Many women believe the solution is more willpower, the next meal plan or diet and stricter rules. But willpower is not designed to fight biology.
When your body senses restriction, it pushes back with hunger, cravings, and thoughts about food. This is why diets almost always backfire, not because you’re weak, but because your body is trying to protect you (isn’t it so clever!)
Food therapy and intuitive eating take a different approach. Instead of focusing on rules and control, they help you build trust with your body again. This means understanding hunger and fullness cues, challenging food rules, and learning to eat in a way that feels balanced rather than punishing your body.
A Different Way Forward: Healing Your Relationship With Food
Food doesn’t have to feel like a constant battle forever. Healing your relationship with food means moving away from the idea of food as the enemy, and toward seeing it as nourishment, pleasure, and connection.
This doesn’t mean “giving up” or eating without care (a common misconception of intuitive eating.) It means letting go of shame, learning to trust your body, and recognising that your worth has nothing to do with your size. For some women, this feels like a radical shift against everything you’ve ever been told, but I can promise you it’s also deeply liberating.
As an intuitive eating therapist, I help women explore what’s really driving their food struggles. Often, what feels like food addiction or lack of willpower is really a mix of restriction, stress, and low self-worth, shaped by years of diet culture. Therapy offers a safe space to untangle these patterns and find a kinder, more sustainable way forward.
Wrapping Up
If food feels like a constant battle, please know this: you are not failing. You are human, living in a culture that makes this incredibly hard. You don’t have to spend your life at war with food or chasing a smaller body in the hope it will finally make you feel good enough.
Healing is possible, I can attest to that personally! You deserve peace with food and compassion for yourself, right now, not only once you reach a certain size.
💛 An Optional Next Step
If what you’ve read here feels familiar, you’re welcome to reach out. I offer a compassionate, non-judgmental space where we can explore your relationship with food together. Therapy can help you move beyond the battle and begin to find freedom, one step at a time.