Most people and clients I know, struggle with a complex relationship with food. Diet culture pops up everywhere in our society and has taught us to view certain foods as “good” or “bad,” creating a cycle of restriction, guilt, and ultimately, a loss of control around food. Principle 3 of Intuitive Eating, Make Peace with Food, is about breaking free from this cycle and finding true freedom with your eating.
What Does “Make Peace with Food” Mean?
Making peace with food means giving yourself unconditional permission to eat all foods. It sounds pretty simple, but for many, this is a huge shift away from years of dieting and food rules. When you label foods as bad, forbidden or even restrict certain items, it can lead to intense cravings and overeating of these foods. A lot of people will put this down to willpower or lack thereof, but this is a psychological response: when something is off-limits, it becomes more desirable.
By giving yourself permission to eat all foods, you remove this psychological “forbidden fruit” effect. Over time, this helps to reduce the intense cravings and emotional charge around certain foods. By allowing all foods, a choice for chocolate becomes emotionally equal to a choice for an apple. Food becomes just food, no longer a source of anxiety, shame or guilt.
Why Is It Important to Make Peace with Food?
In the UK, as in many other countries, diet culture is pervasive. We are constantly bombarded with messages about the latest diet (or “lifestyle”), the supposed dangers of certain foods, and the moral implications of our eating choices (we label ourselves as “bad” if we eat a chocolate bar but “good” if we have a salad.) This not only damages our relationship with food but also our self-esteem and mental well-being.
Making peace with food is crucial because it breaks the diet-binge cycle. When you stop viewing food as a battle and start listening to your body’s needs, you begin to trust yourself around food. This trust is the foundation of a healthy, balanced approach to eating.
How to Start Making Peace with Food
- Challenge Food Rules: Food rules are messages and beliefs you have internalised from diet culture over the years, such as “carbs are bad.” Start by identifying all your food rules, write them down and challenge them. Ask yourself: Where did this rule come from? Is this rule helpful for you, does it serve you?
- Give Yourself Permission: Allow yourself to eat the foods you crave, without judgment or restriction. This can be scary at first, especially if you’ve been dieting or restricting these foods for a long time. The key is to take it slowly and at a pace you’re comfortable with, maybe even just one “forbidden” food at a time rather than them all at once. Trust the process and over time, the novelty of these foods will wear off, and they’ll become less emotionally charged.
- Practice Mindful Eating: As you begin to reintroduce foods you’ve restricted, practice eating them mindfully. This means paying attention to the taste, texture, and satisfaction you get from each bite, is the food as good as you imagined, does it satisfy you etc? This helps you to tune in to your body’s signals and discover what you truly enjoy.
- Seek Support: Making peace with food can be a challenging process, especially if you’ve been surrounded by diet culture for years and internalised a lot of food rules. Support from a counsellor or a community can make a big difference. There’s lots of free support resources available for people starting the intuitive eating journey, but if you’d like 1-1 support through counselling, I offer a free consultation call to help you explore your goals and what you want from counselling. This is a no pressure call and gives you the opportunity to find out if I am the right fit for you.
Common Fears Around Making Peace with Food
I won’t stop eating unless I restrict myself! – Many people worry that giving themselves unconditional permission to eat will lead to uncontrollable binging. This is a valid fear but it’s important to understand that this fear is rooted in a diet mentality. When you go through the process of making peace with food, the initial desire to eat certain foods might be strong. For example, if one of your forbidden foods is donuts, when you first allow yourself this food, you may eat the whole pack. But remember the key is to practice mindful eating, you will reflect that you maybe didn’t enjoy the whole pack or feel uncomfortably full. This strong initial desire to eat certain foods usually subsides once your body and mind realise that the food is no longer restricted.
As a personal example, when I first moved into my own home and realised I could eat whatever I wanted without being observed and feeling judged, I ate cookie dough and ice cream for dessert every single night. After a few weeks, I started to notice that I was no longer enjoying this food, so I listened to my body and stopped having it. I still eat a dessert from time to time after my main meal, but I couldn’t tell you the last time I had cookie dough and ice cream! The food lost its initial desire, once I learned I could have it anytime I wanted without judgement or restriction.
I won’t eat healthily – Another common concern for people around making peace with food is health. It’s a misconception that making peace with food means eating only “unhealthy” foods. In reality, once you remove the emotional charge around these foods, you’ll likely find yourself naturally craving a variety of foods, including those that nourish your body and make you feel good.
Why is it healthy to eat whatever I want, whenever I want? – Sometimes people can fall into the “I can eat whatever I want, as much as I want, whenever I feel like it” trap. This distorts the premise of Intuitive Eating; yes, eat what pleases your palate, give yourself the freedom to eat unconditionally, and eat as much as you need to satisfy your body. But eating whenever you feel like it, without considering your hunger and fullness levels, might not be a very satisfying experience. Attunement with your body and its satisfaction cues is a key part of the process.
Finding Food Freedom
Making peace with food is about embracing freedom; the freedom to eat without guilt, the freedom to enjoy food, and the freedom to listen to your body. It’s a journey, and it can take time to unlearn ingrained food rules and fully trust yourself. But the result is a more relaxed, joyful relationship with food, where eating becomes a source of pleasure and nourishment, not stress and anxiety.
Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Whether you’re just starting out or need a bit of guidance along the way, support is available. If you want to book in a free consultation call, together, we can work towards a healthier, more peaceful relationship with food that honours your body and your well-being.
