If you’ve ever found yourself caught in the exhausting cycle of starting yet another diet, hoping this time will be different, only to feel like you’ve “failed” when the weight crept back on (or when you couldn’t stick to the plan), you’re not alone. So many people I speak to share the same story: diets promise freedom and control, but end up leaving us more tangled in guilt, shame, and preoccupation with food than before.
In this blog, I want to explore why diets don’t work, how counselling for overeating can offer a gentler, more sustainable way forward, and how an intuitive eating approach can help you finally heal your relationship with food.
Why Diets Don’t Work
We’re sold the message that weight loss is simply about “calories in, calories out.” But if it were really that straightforward, wouldn’t diets have “worked” by now? The reality is far more complex, and research consistently shows that dieting is not only ineffective long-term, but often harmful.
✨ Most diets fail in the long run
Studies show that 95% of people who lose weight through dieting regain it within 2–5 years, and often more than they initially lost (Mann et al., 2007). That’s not because people lack willpower, but because the body fights back against restriction.
✨ Biological responses to restriction
When we diet and/or restrict food, our bodies panic that food is scarce and interpret this as famine. Hunger hormones like ghrelin increase, satiety hormones like leptin decrease, and metabolism slows down (Sumithran et al., 2011). All of this drives us to eat more, not less.
✨ Psychological backlash
Diets also trigger what psychologists call the “forbidden fruit” effect. When foods are labelled as “bad” or off-limits, they become more appealing (story of your life right!) This often leads to cravings, overeating, and feelings of being “out of control” around food.
So, it’s not that diets don’t work because you didn’t try hard enough. They don’t work because they’re not designed to work long-term.
Overeating Isn’t About Willpower
When diets inevitably fail, many people turn their frustration inwards, “I just don’t have discipline. I’m greedy. I can’t be trusted with food.” But overeating isn’t a personal flaw, in fact it’s usually a coping mechanism, a way of soothing, distracting, or numbing ourselves from difficult emotions.
You might notice that overeating happens more when you’re:
- stressed or overwhelmed
- lonely or bored
- feeling anxious or low
- dealing with grief or unresolved trauma
Food can provide real comfort in those moments and that’s okay. The problem arises when it becomes the only tool we rely on to cope, and that’s where counselling comes in.
How Counselling for Overeating Can Help
Counselling offers a safe, non-judgemental space to explore what’s really driving your relationship with food. Rather than focusing on the food itself (what you “should” or “shouldn’t” eat), therapy looks beneath the surface.
Together, you and your counsellor might explore:
✨ The emotional triggers for overeating – understanding the “why” behind the behaviour.
✨ Past experiences – family dynamics, dieting history, cultural messages etc, that shaped your relationship with food and your body.
✨ Coping strategies – learning healthier, more sustainable ways to respond to stress, sadness, or anxiety.
✨ Self-compassion – moving away from shame and blame, towards understanding and kindness.
For many people, simply realising that overeating isn’t about laziness or lack of willpower can feel like a huge weight lifted. It opens the door to healing, instead of cycling through restriction and guilt.
Where Intuitive Eating Fits In
While counselling helps to uncover the emotional side of overeating, intuitive eating adds another layer of healing by reconnecting you with your body’s natural signals of hunger, fullness, and satisfaction.
Developed by dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, intuitive eating is a research-backed framework with over 200 studies supporting its benefits (Van Dyke & Drinkwater, 2014). It’s not another diet or set of rules, but a way of relearning how to trust your body again.
Some of the key principles include:
✨ Rejecting the diet mentality – letting go of the cycle of restriction and guilt.
✨ Honouring your hunger – allowing yourself to eat when you’re hungry, without shame.
✨ Making peace with food – no more “good” or “bad” foods… just food.
✨ Discovering satisfaction – learning what foods and eating experiences genuinely nourish you, both body and mind.
✨ Coping with emotions with kindness – using tools beyond food to manage life’s challenges.
In counselling, weaving intuitive eating into the process means we’re not only talking about why overeating happens, but also rebuilding trust with your body so food no longer feels like the enemy.
A Different Way Forward
Imagine what life could feel like if:
🩷 You no longer obsessed about what you “should” or “shouldn’t” eat.
🩷 Food stopped being a battleground and became just one part of your life.
🩷 You had tools to handle stress, sadness, or boredom without automatically turning to food.
🩷 You felt free, calm, and confident around food, even foods you once felt were “off-limits.”
This is what becomes possible when we step away from dieting and explore overeating through counselling and intuitive eating. It’s not about quick fixes or rigid rules. It’s about understanding yourself, building compassion, and learning to trust your body again.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve been stuck in the cycle of dieting and overeating, please know this, it’s not because you’ve failed. It’s because diets were never meant to succeed. Counselling offers a different path, one that helps you gently untangle the emotional roots of overeating, while intuitive eating helps you reconnect with your body’s natural cues.
You don’t have to fight with food forever, with the right support, you can find peace, freedom, and a kinder, sustainable way forward.