How to Stop Overthinking: What Actually Helps When Your Brain Won’t Switch Off

It’s 2am, you’re lying in the dark and your brain is scrolling back through the week. Did you sound like you knew what you were doing on that work call? Was your friend’s short reply a sign she’s angry with you? Is your partner’s quiet mood about something you said?

Welcome to overthinking. If you’re reading this, you probably know it well, and it’s actually the thing I hear most from the women and girls I work with: “I just overthink everything.”

So let me be honest from the start and say that nobody can say “just stop overthinking” and have it work. If it did, none of us would be here at 2am. Overthinking isn’t something we can always silence, but it is something we can get much better at managing, and that’s what this blog is about.

Why does my brain do this?

Overthinking is usually your brain trying to help, just in the most exhausting and messy way possible (like my 2 year old helping to wash the dishes!) Your brain thinks if it goes over something enough times, it will find the answer, avoid the mistake, or keep you safe from whatever might go wrong.

The problem is that thinking feels productive, even when it isn’t. Replaying the past or predicting the future can feel like you’re doing something, but often you’re just walking in circles. It tends to get louder when you’re tired, stressed, or when you care a lot about something or someone. Which, let’s be fair, is not exactly a character flaw.

Here are three things that genuinely help. You don’t need all three every time, just think of them as a toolkit, not a to do list.

1. Ground yourself first

When overthinking ramps up, your body usually joins in. You might experience a tight chest, racing heart, a head that feels like fifteen tabs are open etc. It’s very hard to think clearly in that state, so that’s why we start with the body.

✨The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 exercise. Name five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell and one you can taste. It sounds a bit daft, but it pulls your attention out of your head and into the room you’re actually in.

✨Both feet on the floor. Press them down and notice the weight and pressure connecting to the ground below. Simple, free and no one needs to know you’re doing it on the train.

✨Longer out breaths. Breathe in for a count of four and out for a count of six. A few rounds is often enough to take the edge off.

✨Cool water. Run your hands under the tap and focus on how it feels.

2. Distract yourself (yes, really)

Distraction sometimes gets a bad reputation, as if it’s just avoidance dressed up in a nice outfit. But when used well, it’s a break that lets your brain come down from the spiral so you can come back to things with a clearer head.

The trick is choosing something that takes a bit of brainpower. So mindless scrolling on your phone usually isn’t enough (sorry!), and it can feed the anxiety loop. Try something that needs some focus or keeps your hands busy:

✨Put on a podcast and go for a walk

✨Cook something from a recipe

✨Do a puzzle, sudoku (my fave), a crossword or a game

✨Call a friend and talk about literally anything else

✨Tidy one drawer. Just one…we’re not starting a renovation.

You’re not pretending the worry isn’t there, you’re giving yourself a rest from it.

3. Challenge the overthinking voice

Once you feel a little calmer, you can start to question what that voice is telling you. This isn’t about forcing positive thoughts or arguing with yourself, it’s about loosening its grip. Try asking:

✨Is this a fact, or a feeling dressed up as one? 

✨Is this something I can solve right now? If yes, what’s one small step? If no, can I let it sit for the moment?

✨What would I say to a friend who told me this? We’re usually far kinder to everyone else.

✨What’s most likely to happen, rather than the worst case scenario?

✨Is this thinking helping me? Am I any closer to an answer than I was twenty minutes ago?

Some days these will work well. Other days you’ll try all three and your brain will still be doing its own thing. But that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, it means you’re human, and this takes practice.

When it might be time for more support

Trying things yourself is a great place to start, and plenty of people find these tools make a real difference. But it might be time to reach out for more help if:

🩷Overthinking is affecting your sleep, appetite, concentration, work, studies or relationships

🩷It feels like it’s taking over most of your days, and has been for weeks or longer

🩷You’ve tried the things you know about and you’re just feeling worn out

🩷It comes with constant dread, panic or a low mood that won’t lift

Asking for help isn’t a sign you’ve failed, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Sometimes it’s just easier to untangle all this with another person alongside you.

If you’re ready for support

I work with women and girls who struggle with overthinking pretty much every day, so you wouldn’t be the first to turn up with a head full of 2am thoughts! If you’d like some support, I’d be glad to hear from you or you can find about more about the support I offer here. No pressure at all, just whenever you feel ready.